I can’t tell you how much of a blessing it is to be able to talk to an artist who’s constantly working to improve himself. Josh Kim, best known by the hip-hop pseudonym Metaphaurus Raps, is an artist who strives for more than just a moment in the spotlight. His music is a means to open himself up and reflect. Dissect his past and push himself toward a brighter future.
Metaphaurus took some time to revisit HiphopKR and answer some questions two years after our first conversation.
Two Years in the Making
It’s been two years since you last spoke with us. Could you reintroduce yourself to our readers with two years of new life and career experiences behind you?
My name is Josh Kim AKA Metaphaurus Raps and I’m a Korean-American MC from California. I’ve performed at numerous local shows around the valley/LA area and competed in a number of competitions through Coast 2 Coast Live and TeamBackPack. I make music, not just raps, because this craft gives my life meaning.
You’ve spoken openly about your stage anxiety in the past. Is that something you still struggle with or have you managed to control that anxiousness about being on stage?
With my experience as a performer I’ve learned that the anxiety never goes away, but does get easier to manage with each experience. Anxiety can be a good thing if utilized the right way. So I’ve learned to accept that I can’t kill my anxiety, but control it.
You’ve mentioned a few times that you get a lot of your bars while driving. You’ve allowed your fans to watch your process on Instagram. What is it about driving that gets you so inspired?
//www.instagram.com/embed.js
Don’t be influenced by my bad habits, kids. I like to write while driving because while I drive it’s so easy to get lost in a meditative state. Especially on longer rides, so my creativity is on a different level.
What Is Hip-Hop?
The TeamBackPack tournament was your first experience with competitive rapping. Many people don’t feel battle rapping is a relevant marker of a good rapper. What do you think about battle rapping in the current climate of hip-hop?
Battle rapping nowadays is definitely a sport in which you need to be at the top of your own pen game if you wish to progress at all. Everybody has heard every kind of diss by now in 2019 so it becomes more than just your punchlines. You don’t need to be a battle rapper to be a good rapper, but to be a good battle rapper you need to know how to write your ass off. Flow, rhyme schemes, creativity, cadence all matter in these kinds of competitions. Mastering these requires a tremendous amount of skill and experience. Battle rap is a great outlet for MC’s to push each other through competition and hone their skills.
What do you believe defines “real” hip-hop?
I believe real Hip-Hop comes from the heart. Everybody is tryin’ to flex nowadays and I’m guilty of this too, but you don’t want to listen to your favorite rapper brag about himself all the time. Music can be used to heal, motivate, feel, and so on, so why waste time bragging about yourself when you can be using these melodies to do some good?
You’ve noted Eminem as an inspiration. He’s a polarizing figure even among rappers (using the “n” word in older lyrics, lyrics about rape). How do you separate the artist from the person in situations like that?
Em and Kanye [West] are two of my favorite artists of all time yet they are always on the news sayin’ or doin’ somethin’ that irks me. It really affected me at first. I would delete songs if I wasn’t feelin’ the artist’s personality. But as you listen to these artists’ songs, you learn about their characters and that they are just as human as we are. Kanye has done and said many things in recent years that I disagree with. But I don’t hate him for it ’cause I know the brother is suffering. He lost his mother and is a celebrity workaholic, so he gets rarely any time to mourn. So when he blows up, he gets caught doin’ crazy shit in public.
Metaphaurus the Man
“META” is very autobiographical and seems to define a lot of your values. Do you consider this the song that defines you most? If not, which track of yours best illustrates who you are as both an MC and as a man?
“Meta” definitely describes me best, otherwise I wouldn’t have named it that way. It’s the perfect mixture between some of what I consider my hardest bars and also the realest ish I’ve ever written on a track. Honor, loyalty, ambition… I wish for people to listen to the track and think of these words.
Obviously “FAILURE” is a track borne from a lot of struggle with naysayers/doubters and personal loss. How long has that song been brewing inside you?
It’s a song that I didn’t know how to make until I became more experienced. I been hated on since the jump, so hate is nothin’ new to me. But I didn’t know how to respond at first. Now that I’m more confident in myself and my abilities I can make songs like these to let my haters know that I ain’t budgin’ for them.
You talk about being a pastor’s son and the hypocrisy of the Christian church in your community. I also grew up in the church and also had to reevaluate my participation in it and organized religion. So I understand firsthand the complex relationship between personal faith and organized religion/religious institutions. How much of your relationship with religion and the church has influenced you as an artist?
As a pastor’s son, church was an enormous part of my life. Some of my ride-or-dies come from church and it’s also where I learned a lot of my core values. Even though church is where I learned about a higher power, it is also where I learned about the cruelty of man. As a pastor, my father was targeted by envious councilmen, church members who disagreed with his message, and religious zealots who are afraid of harsher truth. Because my father was targeted, our family was the center of everybody’s scopes and we could not walk around without being judged.
Church is where I experienced some of my greatest memories but also some of my worst. It most definitely had an impact on my craft and you will hear it through my lyrics.
New Faces, Same Passion
Korean/Korean-American rappers have come further along in being accepted. (With the likes of Dummie, YOX, Uzuhan, even Jay Park being signed to Roc Nation.) But it still seems like there’s a long way to go before Korean rappers are legitimately accepted as part of hip-hop. Do you feel that way? Do you think there are still barriers for Korean/Korean-American rappers? If so, why do you think that is?
I feel that Hip-Hop is beginning to become more accepting of different faces and different sounds. Any formula becomes redundant if overused the same way for too long. So people crave something different when they get bored. Despite this, I believe we Korean-American rappers have a long way to go. As many people as there are who want change, there are so many more who want to keep things the same. I believe we’re in that sweet spot where more people are starting to look for something different rather than the same old formula.
Your “Summer Sessions” mixtape is CRAZY! Making bars that hard-hitting in under two minutes is insane. You shoutout G Yamazawa in your track “North Cack.” How much of an influence is G to your work?
G Yamazawa is a super dope, super talented artist. You don’t find many artists who know how to make both real music and bangers. G is definitely one of my favorite underground MC’s and is a force to be reckoned with in the next comin’ years.
What other Asian-American rappers (besides you and G) do you think people need to know more about?
MC Zuko, Bambu, Year of the Ox, China Mac.
You also shoutout Beastie Boys with “Intergalactic.” Were they an influence for you?
Beastie Boys weren’t particularly a huge influence on me besides a couple of their hits. But I always wanted to spit over that “Intergalactic” beat since before I became a rapper. I remember makin’ the ugliest stank face listenin’ to that beat for the first time. So that was just a little gift I gave to 13-year-old Meta.
Lift Yourself
You throw a little shade at Kanye in “Lift Yourself.” Was that more of a “diss” or a cry-out for him to try to elevate himself once again?
I don’t really remember throwin’ shade at Kanye in that verse. But if I did, it was definitely for him to wake up.
“Control” is definitely a track that I can identify with. Was that track a long time in the making? Do you mind sharing what was the moment that made you write something so poignant? Does relistening to the song help you get through dark moments?
“Control” was another one of those songs that I always wanted to make but had to wait for the right time to release. I’ve dealt with drug addiction my whole life, and everybody has dealt with addiction in some form. So it was a song that I feel was necessary for myself and the listeners. It’s one of my favorite tracks because I can listen to it months later and the lyrics could be more relevant than ever. That’s how you know you’ve made something timeless.
There’s still taboo around talking about mental health, self-medication, identity, etc. in hip-hop (particularly for Korean and Black artists). Why do you think that is? What do you think will finally break the taboo?
It is the pride of men. Being mentally unstable is considered weak amongst most people. But the fact of the matter is, we’ve all grown up with mental scars that require some kind of healing. I believe the strongest people are the ones who own up to their mental health state and choose to heal themselves rather than concealing it for the sake of ego. This kind of taboo will break only once we all start talking about it.
What’s the most important thing you’ve learned in the past two years?
The most important thing I’ve learned in the past two years is that if you have to compromise who you are and what you stand for in this genre, then no amount of fame or money is worth it.
On to the Future
What advice would you pass on to younger artists who want to make it as rappers?
Without patience in this game, you will most definitely fail or taste success only to crash and burn after the trend dies. It’s all about legacy, legacy, legacy…
What can fans look forward to from you in the future?
Definitely more music, more videos, more bars, and consistency. Too many things have been holding me back and now I have no excuses.
Any final thoughts?
I almost quit bein’ a rapper this year, but that was just me bein’ insecure and ungrateful for my talents. I’ve discovered a new flame and I don’t plan on quittin’ for anyone’s opinion including my own. Thank you to my homies who’ve pushed me and supported me up til this point. “Metaphaurus” is nothin’ without y’all.
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for an artist to know himself. Metaphaurus is so self-aware, and aware that his “self” still needs work. But his optimism, his eagerness to be the best man he can be manifests as some incredible music. That is the nature of hip-hop: reflective, honest, raw. Real. Metaphaurus is real. He’s bringing his brand of realness to the hip-hop world, ready or not.