Warning: NOT suited for minors!!
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Translator’s Note: this song is not about women in general, it is about female BJs on afreecaTV. There have long been rumors regarding those BJs and abortion, so when this song came out it caused a huge uproar, people tried to find out who the BJ mentioned in the song was. Some criticized the track for seemingly generalizing, labelling every female BJ as an easy woman who has had an abortion before. (Check YouTube or visit this tumblr with gifs and photos to get an impression of what’s happening on average live streams by female BJs.) Due to the huge uproar, Defconn published the following on his homepage: “‘She’s Having an Abortion’ is not based on real stories.” He asked: “Have you ever considered “abortion” as a metaphor for the amputation or destruction of being aware of materialism and lookism?” (*) Meaning, he denied that the story is about any real BJ and suggests that he used “abortion” as a metaphor to criticize the fact that BJs only care about making money and their fans only care about their looks. This put a stop to the controversy.
Intro)
Yeah uh, Defconn
This could be a true story
(Beenzino:) Fuck life! Fuck ’em all, man!
Hook)
I kill my body and soul
I don’t like myself who has become desensitized
I kill my body and soul
My life is shit anyway
Verse 1)
She sleeps clenching her hurting belly
“When will the wounds on my dirtied body heal?”
When she opens her eyes she looks for cigarettes again
She is used to pouring herself [a bowl of] seaweed soup all alone((seaweed soup is traditionally eaten on birthdays; this implies that she’s alone on her birthday))
She’s already had her second abortion this year
She can’t count the guys she’s had
She’s a popular BJ((broadcasting jockey; a host of internet videos)) on the internet
Her fans((lit.: otakus)) don’t know that she’s actually this kind of a girl
She plasters on make-up and paints flowers on the wallpaper((possible reference to female BJs having flower wallpapers as background during their live streams))
For the older men((lit.: oppas)) to see, she puts on an extremely short mini skirt,
pretending it’s a mistake that her panty is showing
Is that the painful reality of getting a luxury bag?
Her first word to being pregnant, which she’s become used to: “Shit!”
And to the guy who put off the condom because he was in the mood: “Shit!”
Taking her headphones in a hurry,
today, she’s craving the damn balloons((On the Korean streaming website AfreecaTV, so-called “star-balloons” are the digital currency which viewers can give to BJs they like. Many girls used the site to show off their bodies and earn virtual money.)) again
Hook)
Verse 2: Akira)
Yeah, I’m popular at school
I’m definitely different from what my parents think
A handbag instead of a school bag, handmade clothes
Leaving the nagging behind I go out again, driving another nail into my mother’s heart (shit)
The hellish third year of high school, instead of the studying that I quit:
Sex and Zen((Hong Kong movie)) from the movies, Gotham welcomes me
I’m broken, the price for letting me go
was the wriggling of one life that I’ll erase from my belly
I’m dirty, when I sober up I’m a laughing stock
Yeah, I’m the plaything of men here and there anyway
Now I’m not even scared of this or that
I don’t have money either, they’re laughing at me who has given herself up
It doesn’t matter if I’m walking the wrong way or on a thorny path now
With the sun in my back I close the curtains
In the unlit room I clench my teeth in pain
and stay up all night holding my breath, shit …
Verse 3: Beenzino)
Bearing a mishap once to avoid something worse is all lies, fake whore
Why wear a bra if you’re gonna take it off anyway? Huh?
You say it’s difficult? Let me look at your bag a bit
LV((Louis Vuitton)) or G((Gucci))? Damn, is it real?
Even your bf((best friend)) doesn’t know [the truth behind] that bag’s mystery (that’s right)
Only the guys you service know it
Oh, privacy? You don’t have the right to say such a word
For you it’s you, only you who is important
Abortion. Saying it hurts, you go: “Ah!”
The baby can only think “Ah!” You got that?
The small hands’ most wanted
Even though it calls for its mother, it’s too quiet, shh!
Earn a lot, as long as you can
As long as your body that will soon rot is still beautiful
Tight cheeks, lips and breasts
How long will they last? Stop it now!
Hook)
Bridge)
Don’t laugh at me but tell me
who made me this way?
(You’re saying you’ll do the same, right? Right?)
Every night, the invisible sound of crying
keeps me from sleeping
Verse 4: Yankie)
Today too, she fixes her make-up and thickly puts on lipstick
Her feeble gaze becomes more glamorous
A transformation as if done by mystic black magic
About this much is fine, Miss Lee hurries to work
“Do you miss me?” Compared to her clumsy imitation of overseas Koreans
she manages her relationships perfectly, she sweet-talks men
Keeps them by her side, dulled wolves have always been docile
Hooked by her face, body, and mind, they bite her fishing line again
Get ya money right, get your body rock
She already does everything for money, who profits from whom?
Finding a sponsor who has some money, one can apparently marry well
When she thinks this is the one, she starts flirting, clumsy gambling
Life’s a deal, the risk she chose are dry heaves((this hints at a pregnancy))
but she was happy
Uh, take some bill, forget about greetings already
A sprout((can also mean: baby/child)) in the life cut as short as that brief relationship and kills
Hook)
Outro x2)
I kill my body and soul